It's now only 2 hours and 17 minutes before my life starts anew. Back to the scent of hospital wards, back to the sight of pain and suffering, back to the life I left.
The start of the new sem signifies my return to oblivion. It's somehow refreshing knowing that I will be normal again. I have been used to doing something, and my hiatus from college stuff is a killer. I now am ready to move on to another 5 months of occupying myself with thoughts that are not about me, but rather, of the technical and practical side of life. There are no more room for personal emotions and self recovery, just logic and anatomy. That is what I want to believe, because I want to redirect my loneliness into something more rational.
The past few weeks were full of questions unanswered, and these questions remain unanswered still. Maybe the answer will come in the future, but now, I choose for it to take the backseat and focus on the road ahead.
I miss the people I love terribly. I miss my "perfect" self terribly. I miss so many things. I miss my "real" self.
Life goes on. I must move with it, because now, I have no more power to make it stand still just for myself. Let it go, and fly away. I have no choice. This is me. This is what I have to be.
It's morphin' time...
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